LIVING IN HELL [Hiroko]

[jessie]

Trent had been lazy lately. For the first time since…well ever, he had actually spent the entire day in his dorm. Usually he avoided the place to save his damn life. Lately, Cory had been on edge with him with suspicions that he had feelings for Kiara. Cory was most definitely correct. Trent just continued to rest on his bed, staring at the white ceiling and let the cool draft of the fan hit his skin sending goose bumps spiraling up his arms. He had just taken a round of his pills so the shaking had died down quite a bit. Cory had emptied the dorm of all liquor so Trent had no access here, which certainly helped the situation. His cigarettes sure helped him remain calm. Lucky for him, smoking was the one bad habit Kiara did not seem to get upset over. He knew he could not quit his sticks. They kept him sane in times like these, when the single handed only thought on his mind now for an entire week was alcohol. It was his mothers fault really. She had made him so dependent on it, made him believe that it would solve his problems with one sip. Then it became one bottle. Then it became three and after that it was all downhill. Since then he could not remember a day when he was not searching for answers at the bottom of a vodka bottle. It had been an entire week since Trent had even had a sip of liquor. It made it feel possible that he really could break his worst habit. Trent knew better then to call himself “recovered.” This was going to be a lifelong battle for him. Drinking would always be on the back on his mind. He felt he was strong enough though, as long as Kiara was in his life, he knew that he could resist the urges, He just needed his body to stop going through the withdraws. Once the body aches, night sweats, and constant shaking diminished, the rest would be a cake walk. He looked back up at the ceiling and closed his eyes. He could not remember that last time he had actually slept. It had been awhile. His eyes literally felt like they had two paper weights holding them down. He literally had no gas in the tank, no energy, no life.

Just as he began to drift off he began to feel his mouth getting considerably dry—more side effects. He slowly dragged himself off the bed and slowly stumbled to the fridge and grabbed a half empty bottle of water. Just as he was about to retreat back to the room he heard someone stumbling with the door and the only person that actually gave him the fucking creeps walked through it-Hiroko. He grimaced and pretended not to even realize that she was still standing under the frame of the door. She spent so much fucking time in this dorm that Trent could never escape her here. She was always in the next room and Trent always felt on edge knowing that he was living with an unemotional ice queen. Trent had truly never disliked someone as much as Hiroko. It was almost safe to say he hated her. Trent was sure he could not hate anyone, but Hiroko made it very possible. The fact that he had to live with her only made it even worse. For living with the women, Trent was pretty skilled at avoiding her but it was only a matter of time before he bumped into her considering he had spent the entire day in here and the only object separating them was a wall as thin as paper. He cracked open the bottle and took a long sip of the cold liquid. Hiroko was always using Trent’s drinking as a weapon. She always made assumption. Anytime they spoke, she would make sure to mention his addiction. She would ask him monotonous question to try to pry more information about his life to use against him. She was unemotional and used other people’s emotions to cripple people. He knew how Hiroko worked. She was constantly prying into other people’s business, mostly Trent, finding information that would cut people the deepest. How she could really get a reaction from someone. Trent knew better than to give her any satisfaction in the fact that every time she mentioned his dysfunctional family he wanted to stick a 12 inch blade threw her empty heart. He should feel special that Trent was her favorite subject to play her head games with, but she was just an annoyance to him. Everyone knew about Trent’s drinking but he made it his personal mission to make sure that the rest of his past remained a secret to Hiroko. She was different than anyone he had ever encountered before. He shook his head and searched his pockets for a cigarette. He knew that he was not going to be able to escape to his room before she made some unfortunate remark about god knows what, probably his drinking. It had been a week though, and he was still sober.

[hiroko]

Rare was it that Hiroko would leave the dorm for anything but classes. She was a recluse, with no friends to see, no family to visit, no need to shop or anything. Some weekends she would leave for the entire day to go shopping, clothing, food, whatever. She had her own fridge and microwave in her room so she did not have to disturb the men in the dorm or the other girl that occupied the room with them. She was basically self-sufficient, and the internet, her classmates, provided her with hours of entertainment as they bitched and whined about their problems all over the school chat. It was adorable how they expected all the others to care about them, and the sad thing was, the others jumped through those hoops.

Just like the other night, how one girl who was obviously a friend of her roommates Cory and Trent, had threatened to kill herself over some boy or whatever. Hiroko had only been half paying attention as she had been dozing in and out of sleep, but Trent had gotten pissed at the poor stupid girl and some random guy had to tell Trent to take a chill pill since he had exploded at the idiotic suicide watch girl. This had woken Hiroko up and she had watched with delight as the words filled up the screen, a temporary tragedy on the internet, one of thousands probably taking place at that time, within only their state.

It was always entertaining when others tried to end their lives just because some person wouldn't be with them as their boyfriend or girlfriend. Hiroko had no sympathy for those people, they were idiots for thinking that they were meant to be with those people. If that person did not want to be with you, could you not figure out that they were not meant for you? Find someone else that could tolerate your idiocy. But then again, Hiroko had sympathy for few to no people at all, maybe she had a soft spot for children but she was rarely around children at all, the idea left a strange feeling in her.

But none of that was mattering at the moment, now was the present, the past meant nothing to her, but it meant everything to everyone else, she wanted to know everyone's past. Why? Because everyone let their past affect their present, and Hiroko loved to mess with people in the present with their past. It was entertaining to reopen old emotional wounds and watch as they squirmed as the emotions flooded out like the life force that was their blood. It was amazing how much emotion meant to people, how much being cared about, to be valued meant to people. People were social animals after all, they needed to be valued or else they were nothing at all.

But yes, the present, that was where Hiroko was, occupying the well worn leather chair that had come from her father's old office which was now located in front of a cheap looking desk with a large computer monitor on top and a large computer tower underneath. When Hiroko wasn't busy messing with people, she enjoyed playing computer games, online games were the best, mixing her social skills with the entertainment that it was real people faking themselves through life.

At the moment she sat curled up into herself wearing a black tank top and a pair of dark purple sweatpants, clothing no one had ever seen her wear. She was a very small girl, only 5'4" in height and extremely light, barely reaching 100lbs on days that she ate a full meal, which she rarely did. She slowly uncoiled herself from how she was sitting and stood up slowly, her joints were aching and she knew it was time to take her medicine. She reached over and slapped the button on top of her computer monitor to turn it off. That simple act hurt her entire arm. She took the bottle of pills out of her drawer, shaking it. It was full.

She then slowly walked over to the mini-fridge and opened it and looked inside. There was no water. She had forgotten to restock. Hiroko silently cursed herself and glanced over at her door. She did not believe anyone was home at the present time so she figured it was okay to venture out to the sink. She approached the door and leaned on it slightly as she opened it. Hiroko half-stumbled out the door, her knee joints were refusing to bend properly. She grimaced in pain as she looked up at the kitchen area and was genuinely surprised when she saw Trent there.

For a second she was caught off guard, for the first time in a long time, Hiroko had no control over herself, but quickly a gate shut down and her face went to it's normal unemotional look. "Ah, Trent, I did not think you were home," She spoke to him, trying to keep her voice monotone but finding her dry throat betraying her, causing her voice to crack slightly as she stood in the door, bracing herself on the door frame. She decided to jab him for no other reason then seeing her like this. "Would you like some sake? It's a traditional Japanese alcoholic beverage, I would gladly share with my dorm mate," Her voice cracked again and she mentally cursed herself again.

[jessie]

Trent rolled his eyes in the back of his head. Se could never just shut the fuck up, could she? Something seemed off about her though. She was different when she first entered the room but she snapped back to her usual ice princess persona to fast to tell. Not that Trent really gave a shit what could possibly be wrong with her. Lucky for him, he was in a pretty relaxed mood. He knew that he could handle Hiroko today with easy effort. There were certainly days where he could not tolerate her sly questions and underhand comments about his addiction and his questionable past. There were secrets not even Kiara had unburied and for some reason this girl thought she was going to discover them. It made him laugh inside.

Trent, however, was convinced that Hiroko was a sociopath. There was no way that that chick had any emotions or feelings. How do you argue with a sociopath? Someone that is affected basically by nothing. Trent carried a lot of emotion. He masked t well, but it was always there. He never let his emotions spiral out of control with Hiroko though. He usually just made underhand comments, then she would return the favor with an occasional “Heh” when she was out of questions and then the conversation would get boring and they would part separate ways. There was always that hostility with her though. What made them such bitter enemies was the fact that Hiroko targeted Trent more than any other person. He had no clue why. He was not special in the slightest bit. He never really gave her the satisfaction of uncovering the skeletons hidden in his closet. All she really knew about him was that he had a drinking problem. Big mystery. Everyone knew Trent was a drunk. Trent had become pretty accustomed to Hiroko’s underhand comments about it. It was basically what she mentioned on a daily basis. He shrugged it off. He was changing. Hiroko’s words were not generally untruthful. She spoke the truth often. He could not deny that she was very intelligent. He had a very odd perspective of the world. He just could not stand how she treated other human beings and how she used “emotions” to her advantage. She did not have the first fucking clue what emotions even are, or what they felt like. He felt like if she did, Hiroko would be a much different person. Maybe more friendly. He laughed inside. He could not picture Hiroko friendly. Just her outside persona to him looked cold, bitter, and just straight up unfriendly. She hated everyone and he could not help but wonder how someone could live life like that. Hiroko seemed pretty content with her life. To each their own he guessed. He just wondered what secrets she hid in her past that made her the almost inhuman creature she was today.

He listened as her voice cracked as she talked. Unusual, usually her voice was so poised, so even. He could tell she was caught off guard by him being there. He was usually avoiding her. He yawned, “Yeah, I’m here, unfortunately.” He said flatly. No emotion in his voice. “What the fuck is up with you voice? Sick I hope…” Trent was always bitter with her. He hated how she treated the human population. As if our feelings were just amusement to her. As she made, of course, another predictable comment about his drinking, he just shrugged. He was not going to let her little comments on his addiction effect him. With Hiroko, he just always threw up a giant wall. He almost had to be her persona, unemotional. “Trying to poison me again? Sorry, can’t get rid of me that easily.” He knew damn well she would never want to get rid of Trent. Life would be ten times less amusing if he was not in the picture. He knew how the drill went.

[hiroko]

Humans were emotional creatures. This was basic fact. Emotions seemed to stem from the simple need to cooperate with each other and the need to lie. You needed to know how your buddies felt about tackling a large animal, if even one of them was unsure of it, you needed to see that weakness, if one was too overconfident, you needed to be able to read this. People nowadays relied too much on language to convey what they meant, if you were able to modulate tone of your voice, then you would be able to easily lie to most people. Over the years people had lost the ability to see the little tics on people.

This was something Hiroko was trying to learn. True, most of the time she was talking to people on the internet so these tics were lost to her. But at least she could pay more attention to what the person wrote then the tone they meant it in. Take Trent here for example, whenever she was involved in anything, Trent was sure to close down whenever Hiroko made a comment about his drinking or pried too much into his past. That was a sure sign there was something hidden, something painful. She may never hear what it was, she may never see him react about his past, but she knew it was there, she knew what lay underneath, she knew the wounds were festering underneath the bandage, and she loved to poke it.

But she could tell that even though he acted uncaring and sarcastic towards her, he had a heart, he cared in his own way, and Hiroko loved to watch as he whimpered and whined and exploded about things that were going on in his friends lives. It was good to know that even though she may not be doing any damage to him, but at least his friends were. Hiroko made sure to mess with his friends as much as possible, to make sure that their pain resonated from them to Trent.

But why? Why was Trent so interesting? Why did she do so much to just get to Trent? She didn't even know, maybe because he wasn't easy to hurt, or maybe it was because he was the easiest. Many people, when she bugged them, they'd get pissed, bothered, or even cry, but sooner or later they got over themselves, figured out what was wrong, either ignored it or didn't let it bother them anymore. But Trent, Trent decided to just close down, like if the prisoners had broken out of their cells and you just locked the prison's doors. Sure, they weren't all over the country side, but you still had chaos and destruction to contend with.

So there it was, the reason she had just rationalized, she knew she was getting to Trent and it was lovely to see him not react.

As Trent responded to her, Hiroko slowly dropped her bottle of pills into her sweatpants pocket. She could her in his voice that he didn't care, or was trying not to care, about what he was saying, what he was asking. She cleared her throat, hoping that would remove the irritating creak in her voice. Hiroko inhaled and spoke, "I'm not sick, I just need some water, my mouth is dry." Her tone was as cool and unemotional as it usually was, whatever rough spot she had hit, it was gone. She smiled slightly, a small, "Heh," in response to Trent thinking she would poison him. "Trent, why would I poison my favorite person on campus?" She asked, a rhetorical question if there ever was one. She didn't move from her spot, afraid that her knees would give out or something else would hint at what was wrong.