Post by jessie4 on Apr 15, 2010 8:35:09 GMT -6
-- Blake Thomas MacKenzie. 19. Local. Culinary.
Blake walked along the strip of LA. He loved every detail of California. He loved how alive it was. It truly intrigued him. What he loved moat about California is he was far from home. Far from his father who could be buried in a coffin and it still would not change the loathing feeling when he thought about the douche bag. The worst part was he had a lot of his father attributes. He liked to push people’s button. Never be committed to one person. He loved to start an argument and he was about as sarcastic as they came. The only difference was that Blake knew he had a heart. Some people would beg to differ. Some just saw him as a moody, disrespectful, argumentative, cheating ass hole. He tended to rub many people the wrong way. But he knew that his family loved him. Blake did not have much time for friends anyhow. Some may call him a loner, maybe he was. He was just very driven on doing well in school. If he wanted to get into law school he had to stay focused. Being sidetracked by late night parties and clingy women were not an option for him. Friends were truly disposable to him. If he had them, that was fine. A little company never hurt him but not having many did not bother him much either. Cory was the only person he truly spent time with. Cory was a lot like him so Blake easily could relate to him. Blake had pissed a lot of people off in the past and broken a lot of innocent hearts which portrayed him to be heartless. But Blake had a heart. He did feel compassion and he showed it to the people he was closes with. But you could say Blake just had a lot of hostility steaming from his father. He was not really afraid to admit it to anyone. Blake was an open person. He had not secrets or skeletons hiding in the closet. Letting people in was never really difficult for him.
This was the first time, however, that Blake was seeing California again in an entire month. After what happened with Riley, Spence, and Kiara, Blake needed to disappear. He needed to get far away from everyone. He felt bad for leaving Kiara and than not even bothering to call for a entire month, but they left on bad terms and Blake had went into a depression where he just needed to be isolated. He did not care much about leaving Cory or Nathan. The way they have treated Kiara had pissed him off. The last time he has spoken to Cory he remembered him telling Blake to "Fuck off." It bothered him a little that his family was so dis-functional in there own seperate ways. Nathan and him had never been that close to began with and Blake was sure that he was to preoccupied with football to even worry to much about what Blake had possibly been doing for an entire month. It did not matter. No one knew it but Blake had been contemplating suicide while he was gone. Twice he came very close to doing it. He hated who he was and truly felt no one would care that much aside from Kiara if he was gone. He deserved what he go that night that he was basically attacked. Spence knew that he would not touch her, and she took advantage of it. She was still psycho to him but he planned on just keeping his distance from everyone and watching his mouth. He never thought before he spoke and that is what go him here partially. Blake had said some hurtful comments that he knew would set everyone off and were intended to. Spence wanted him to regret what he did and he did but she could never change what happened and the pain he caused her best friend.
Blake continued to walk down a shopping strip in LA as he took in the aromas. He was trying to get familiar with the city again. There was the smell of car exhaust. Something he was not used to in Seattle. The faint aroma of food escaping the cafes he passed. It made his stomach grumble a little. He let out a deep sigh and watched as a woman walked her child on a leash. He laughed out loud a little. He thought how ludicrous it is to put your child on a leash. Treating them like a dog. As he walked by another couple holding hands he spotted possibly the single- handed last person he wanted to see. Their on the bench only yards away was Riley. The reason he left in the first place because just being around her reminded him of the terrible person he was and probably would always be. The one girl that he actually felt guilty cheating on and worse of all causing a eating disorder. He wished he could just not care, not give a shit that he hurt her. But he couldn’t. He could see the pain he inflicted on her and it made him want to desperately take back every moment of that drunken hook up. He did not even remember the girls name or what she even looked liked and in result he lost and really great person. The truth was he like Riley. He did not love her of course, but he had feelings for her that went beyond what he usually felt. He did not ignore them, they were there and he had acknowledged that. He was not going to admit how he felt though because the feeling was clearly not mutual. He ruined a good thing and he was willing to accept that. Blake just had a problem with commitment and it seemed impossible for him to not cheat. Riley was different than most girls though. She was sweet but still not afraid to defend herself. Now that he was seeing her again sitting only yards away from him brought a whiplash of sadness. She looked on edge and clearly a little distraught. Her appearance was the same though. She would always be striking to him. He remembered how her smile could literally light up a room. Part of him wanted to turn the other way before she spotted him but then again he wanted to make sure she was okay. It had been a month since the fight really went down and he could not help but want to just run but he could tell she already spotted him. He didn't really smile, just said flatly “Hey...” He had no idea what to say but being in front of her made him want to disappear again. He wondered if she would always hate his guts. If she did, he could not complain. She had every right.
Jessie!. 18. Eastern.