Post by mouse on Apr 10, 2010 0:13:03 GMT -6
—vesper jace monroe. eighteen. senior. music.
Vesper was getting rather good at keeping his temper down. He didn’t like fighting with Sabina, so he’d been trying really hard not to get annoyed. He was trying to let the little things that annoyed him go, he was trying to be more laid back. At times it worked, at others it didn’t. His careful approach was only enforced when she told him the news that he was going to be a Dad come nine months. He might not have been the most brilliant guy in the world, but even he knew snapping at a pregnant girl was a bad idea. So, he’d been even more careful around her the past months, watching what he said and what he did. She was excited. He was not. He was scared bloody shitless about the whole thing. He couldn’t believe it… They’d been dating for a very small amount of time before he’d screwed up. And now he was face to face with that fuck up, or would be come five months from the present. Everything had to be dropped. He’d just cleared up the pregnancy rumour to have it come true a few days later. He didn’t want to look like a liar to his fans, and his manager was not pleased. Surprisingly he hadn’t lost his spot on the band yet, but he’d been getting the silent treatment from most of the band. He wasn’t entirely sure what his future held and for once, he was really freaked out. He was usually good with letting stuff roll off his shoulder… But this was a whole different issue.
“No.. No. I know Mom! I’m aware. No, you know what. You’re right, it was a mistake to even go back to New York… You don’t think I regret that every single day that goes by? Mom. MOM. Would you just listen to me?!” He called into his phone as he paced in his-their- living room. As far as he knew Sabina was upstairs sleeping, it was almost two in the morning so despite his anger he was keeping his voice at a lower roar. “I am nothing like Dad. You can’t just-” He snapped only to find himself hung up on. He let out a growl and chuckled the phone across the room then swiftly left the room for the front door. He needed a walk, and the cool air of the early morning offered that to him. He wanted to slam the door, he really, really did but he closed it quietly in hopes that Sab would remain asleep. Once outside he let out a howl and kicked the tire of his Audi. He smacked a fist down on the hood and snarled under his breath before pushing away from the car to storm up the street. No sense busting up his baby because he was angry…
He got a few blocks away and the anger simmered down to a dull frustration. He came to a halt and looked around to get his bearings. The town wasn’t huge or anything, but it was still new to him and he didn’t want to get himself lost at night. He didn’t know exactly where he was… he was outside the residential area, but he wasn’t positive where. He wasn’t lost, he knew how to get home. He’d been taking Kahlua for crazy walks every day out of boredom so he was good at getting around town. If someone asked him what street something was on, he was lost… But he knew where most things of importance were. He knew where he could get food and gas. Wasn’t that everything he’d need? Food for his stomach and gas for his car? He wished there was a music shop in town… Or anything really. Anything to help with his lack of musical atmosphere…
He pushed forward, not pausing his footsteps until he reached the town’s diner. He didn’t even try the door.. It was two in the morning… Instead he just flopped on the ground and leaned against the brick wall behind him. He smacked the back of his head against the wall, pulled it forward then repeated the action. He wasn’t smacking himself hard, but enough to try and snap some sense into him. “Stupid… Fucking idiot… Stupid… Selfish…” He muttered with each smack. Perhaps it was immature and stupid behaviour, but he couldn’t help it. Sometimes your brain just did what it wanted… And that was how he’d dealt with problems as a kid. And for the first time, Vesper wanted to be a kid again. He’d take back all the dorkiness, all the laughing at him… At least back then he hadn’t screwed up the life of the person he’d always cared most about. That was his biggest problem, he could deal with screwing himself over… But he’d ruined Sab’s life too… He stopped, leaning forward on his knees, mumbling quietly to himself "There goes my life... There goes my future... My everything, might as well just kiss it all goodbye.”
mouse. nineteen. mountain.